Hope and despair

For about five or even more months my mom hasn't gotten along with my dad and me at all. She was totally mean to us. Whenever I tried to talk to her about that she wouldn't listen neither to me nor my dad. "I don't want to talk now.", "I don't have time now.", "I am not interested.", "You are annoying." or similar things.

In the end when everything went that worse that I ended up crying even in front of my grandfather althought I didn't want to worry him but I was that desperate that I couldn't help myself any longer. I decided that I have to change something since dad and I cannot live like that any longer nor do we have the money to move out. Our hardest problem is that we love her despite all that so it hurts us even more. It's really incredible I've never thought that I would be able to ever love someone who is acting as horrible as that.

I decided that I'll draw her a picture since it's all I can do if she won't listen at all. At first she put my picture aside and completely ignored it but the next day when I was at school she somehow started to think about it. When I came home I found a crafted poster on my bed. She cropped the main part of the picture I drew out, wrote a lot of nice stuff around it and glued pictures on it of things she knows I really like.

It hangs inside my closet now and I hope things will stay smooth like that for now. She didn't accuse me anymore ever since Monday and I hope that will last for a while now. That feels like a miracle but I hope she'll finally stop badmouthing my dad as well because it always really hurts me when she does that and says that we are completely useless, annoy her, always keep her from work, slow her down every time, are in the way and even much worser stuff... ;_;

Also am I really glad that I have my dad, my grandparents, my boyfriend and all my friends (EVERYONE of them means a lot to me the order doesn't mean anything) who help me a lot and keep telling me that I am fine and it REALLY is good that I am alive and they are glad about it because in the end I even totally doubted that.

Btw that person on that picture is actually me. Whenever I draw my personal feelings I nearly always draw myself long hair and bangs although I have none. Moreover I don't draw diligent then I just draw for psychological reasons and to get rid of the stress I have a bit.
______________________________________________________________________________________________

Tools: watercolor paper, Copic Multiliner 0.1, brush, Schmincke watercolor and Dr. Ph. Martin's ink.